It’s going to happen; from time to time we have the most awful of days. Whether it’s a mahoosive life curve ball, a fall out with your beloved or the stressful workday from hell, we all hit the floor emotionally at some point.
I set up private practice in 2016, since then I have learned so much from the people I work with, not only do they teach me a lot about myself, but they also share with me what has been working in between our sessions.
This "working" of the tools and tips that I share is like gold! Because having spent hundreds of hours on telephone and video sessions with people I get a really clear picture of just how it is that they survive the really rotten days that sometimes show up for us.
Even though everyone that comes to me is unique, themes in how we work together emerge. They rise above adversity and find what actually works in terms of re building self-esteem, confidence and hope.
This is great news, because if the lovely people that I work with can feel an improvement and an ease, you can move towards that feeling too!
I want to share with you the top three secrets to surviving a bad time that keep cropping up again and again as a part of the moving beyond stuckness that so many people find themselves feeling.
1. Know that you can survive this, you have been through tough times in the past and you can get through it again.
Now this is hard to hear and accept when we feel utterly hopeless and tired of feeling mangled by everything, I totally get that. But think about it logically for a moment…
if you knew at age ten everything that would happen from that point to the rest of your life you would think “ Holy Mary! I will never cope with all that!”
Yet here you are, and you did cope, and you did make it through!
What if you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for? What if there is something buried deep within you that says “don’t give up, not today, you can do this”.
Sure, some days it might not be screaming from the rooftops, but that teeny little voice of hope is still there, willing you on.
What if you were stronger than you think?
I will just leave that hanging there for now, this is a fabulous journal prompt if you are that way inclined! Want to grab more journal tips ? Click HERE
2. Just embrace the shitter days!
Now I don’t often cuss on blogs or social media, but really there is nothing else for it here. Some days are just total crud and I like to call these “shitter days”.
These are usually the days that start with you sleeping in for work, stubbing your toe, getting a parking ticket and having a fight with your beloved. You know the sort of days I mean right?
The world and its mother are literally against you today and you need to retreat and lick your wounds. On a “shitter day” you literally give yourself permission to temporarily retreat, allow all feelings and cocoon up for a bit. No subtext, no excuses to be made no apologetic texts or pushing yourself to do stuff that you don’t want to.
You just embrace what is, a total shitter!
Bonus points if you can ramp up the self care and treat yourself to something that will sooth your soul during this most famous of all calendar days. I like to keep some expensive bubble bath and chocolate in for such special occasions! (If you know me in real life, you know that I am really tight, so this is a really special place of allowing all that is without guilt or further self deprecation!)
3. Write it out!
I keep coming back to this for good reason because letting the cork out the bottle is essential to getting ourselves to start moving beyond whatever is causing us emotional pain.
You might be super lucky and have a good friend that will let you off load without interrupting you or making it all about them (this is called hijacking and its not cool) but if you haven’t a paper and pen might be all the friend you need right now.
Supposing your Wednesday has screwed you over and messed up the positive week that you were having, write to “Dear Wednesday” and let it know what a mess up it has been for you.
Harbouring emotional boats is bad news, trying to tie them nice and safely to the shore only works for a few weeks until there is a massive storm and then those little emotional boats that you spent such a long time diligently and carefully stacking together and securing down neatly…all smash together and you get caught in the splintering pieces of emotional drift wood.
It never works
You have to find a way to express, write, talk, share or otherwise process whatever it is that is going on for you. There is no such thing as a safely tethered emotional boat in a harbour.
Boats are meant to be out on the water because they are stronger than they think, and sure you might need a friend along for the ride, or a trained counsellor like me to help you hold the course for a little while, but either way, you have to let that little wooden emotional friend of yours be expressive and sail free!
I hope you loved these 3 secrets to surviving bad days, if you did, tell a friend or give me a share on social media so that I can help more people.
Love Emma x