The inner critic can at best be a pest and at worst be a total bully. It is very common for our inner critic to make its voice heard from time to time, especially when we are trying something new or we are having a vulnerable feeling kind of day.
For some of us however, our inner critic can go on a rampage, day in day out making our lives a misery.
Perhaps you can see some of your own inner critic in the following thoughts:
I am not good enough
I am not worth it
I am un- lovable
It is all my fault
It is all too much and I cannot cope
These are all lies that your inner critic says to you!
Often times this is more common for people who are having a difficult time with anxiety in their lives.
In the people that I work with I have found that anxiety turns the volume on the inner critic up, way up! To the point where people feel that their anxiety and inner critic is way out of control.
There is good news so hang on…keep reading...
Whether you are the occasional inner critic or the out of control feeling inner critic that I just mentioned, I have got three steps that work a charm.
You can try them today and start to silence that voice inside that is making your life a misery and talking you out of everything that you really want to do in life.
Step 1: Think about your inner critic and the words that they use, allow an image to form in your mind of what they might look like, how they might stand or sit and the mannerisms that they might use.
You could even draw, mind map or journal if you love a creative outlet. If you love your journal work journaling could even try my list of 100 technique with the title "100 ways that my inner critic holds me back" ( This is quite an advanced journal technique).
However you like to work things out is fine, but spend some time creating a character for your inner voice. Mine is an old lady who worries about driving, she wrings her hands and asks me to be careful all the time.
Step 2: Give the character a name. This is important because it really helps us to know that the inner critic is not the whole of us. FACT.
The inner critic is just a little part of you that comes to the surface every now and again, they do not define who you are, nor do they make up the whole of you. Name them and separate them slightly from you, mine is called Betty!
Step 3: Talk to your inner critic. When they start saying things like “ you are not good enough” talk to them, imagine your character and have a word with them.
You could unleash your inner Tony Robbins and get powerful and direct with them, or you could follow your inner Louise Hay and thank them for caring about you, but explain that you have got this so they need to be quiet for a while now.
Talk to them in which ever way they will respond best to, try a few different ways and see which is the most soothing or productive for your inner critic.
I must say that this takes time. To be able to start catching yourself and to start to make a habit takes a little while to master, so please be patient and gentle with yourself.
But……if you have got this far and love this way of working, the "Bonus Step" is to give that inner critic a whole heap of evidence to disprove whatever pack of lies they are trying to bring you down with.
You must learn to fight back and stand up for yourself. Evidence is weed killer to the inner garden of unhelpful lies.
I have taught and tried these techniques, my clients get really good results when they practice this over time and I really hope you can get some traction too. I would love to know how you get on, so please let me know!
As I said at the beginning, the inner critic is often the most difficult to manage for people with anxiety. If you are looking for a leg up and some ease with anxiety I am starting a 5 week programme next week.
You get me, a super safe small closed Facebook group and some light at the end of the anxiety Tunnel. Because I know, it is a long and tiring tunnel, and boy can it be dark at times.
I would love you to join me : Anxiety to Ease: The 5 Week Programme
Thank you for being here, you are so much more than the lies that anxiety tells you.
Love Emma x